05 November 2013

I Just Want to Dance Through Life

Wicked reference...if you don't know this song it's about not caring about anything and just letting life happen. "Nothing matters but knowing nothing matters." So you should just have fun living. And the character who sings it, Fiyero, convinces everyone to skip school and go dance at the most "swankified place in town." I remember when I was that carefree! I shouldn't have taken those years for granted. I should have danced more!

Being an adult is hard. It probably sucks more for me than others because I pretty much got whatever I wanted while I was growing up. I didn't have to learn to budget, hold off on getting something I wanted, or learn to go without. So now here I am, unemployed and so is Mackenzie, having to take out loans to survive along with trying to pay off our credit card debt. We are paying our tithing from the plasma money Kenz makes (I can't donate because I lived in Europe), we're going to the temple, faithfully fulfilling our callings, active in church, etc. So I know that the blessings will come and that we will both get jobs just in the nick of time. But it's scary when you're driving straight toward the edge of the cliff! I know that Heavenly Father won't let us fall off, but we need to put our trust in Him.

It's easy to envy the situations of others. One of my best friends has a full time job and isn't married yet, and I think that would be so amazing to make real money and do whatever you want with it! But obviously I love Mackenzie and I'm so grateful for him and for our marriage. I would rather be poor with him than have money and be without him. Another one of my friends is married and her husband has an amazing "real" job. However, he has a degree and a real job because he didn't serve a mission. I'd rather have the blessings of Kenz having served a mission than be financially stable right now and not have those blessings.

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