20 January 2012

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid"

Have you ever been rejected from something you didn't even really want to do in the first place? Mackenzie was offered a job in Alaska this summer, but I wasn't. Needless to say, we won't be going.

At first I was excited about all of the things we'll be able to do this summer. I can go to girl's camp, and maybe we can go to a couple of family reunions, and Mackenzie can continue doing school so we can leave Moses Lake ASAP.

But now, fear is creeping into my mind as I contemplate what we'll be losing by not going back up there. We would have made about $25,000, which would obviously be extremely helpful. We were already planning on buying some furniture (like a REAL BED) and maybe an iPad. Plus, we need to get our own health insurance ASAP. And right now we're doing OK because we've paid for our rent and car insurance through April. The money would have also helped us to build a nest egg so that I can stay home with our kids and not work once we start having them.

More bad news: I haven't been able to find a job here in 3 months. Granted, I haven't been actively searching, just applying online here and there. All the jobs opening up this summer in Parks & Rec are already spoken for. Plus, we've got all the college kids coming home in a few months and in a town this size, everyone works the same job every summer. So unless I can find a job here, we'll have to either try to find work in Spokane and move there, or maybe move in with my parents in MN for the summer to save money and find jobs.

Although I'm afraid of our financial future, I know that fear is not of God. Satan thrives on fear. And I know that we will be blessed and that things will work out because we pay our tithing and we have faith. We got out of debt last summer and I know that we'll be blessed for that. Plus, we're getting sealed in 8 DAYS and I know that many great blessings will come of that.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that we have a loving Heavenly Father who only wants to bless us and help us out. I am grateful for the knowledge that this life is not the end, and that if we try our hardest to do what's right, we'll be blessed forever. I know that what God said to Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail is true for all of us: "thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." (D&C 121:7-8)

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